With a constant stream of lightning-fast news, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and fearful these days. The fear that grips me most is for the future that’s currently being shaped for our daughter. Sometimes that fear is debilitating, sometimes it’s motivating. 

I’m trying my damnedest to lean into the latter. 

That doesn’t mean my goal is to stop feeling fear entirely. Fear is a normal – even necessary – emotion, and it would be impossible to cut completely out of our lives. We need to feel our fears, our anger, our dread. Burying these feelings can allow them to fester and grow stronger. We must allow them to exist. Feel free to scream about them. Vent to loved ones. Cry in the shower. Blast angsty music and dance it out.

And then what? 

Take a deep breath. Look within. See what you have control over. See what you can do.

And then do. 

Take action. Rise to the challenge in any way you can. Repeat to yourself: You are strong, talented, and smart. You are unstoppable (this is, coincidentally, my affirmation every morning as I take my first sip of coffee, superhero pose in place).

Challenges give us experience and build our resilience. Research suggests that after going through a difficult time, a person can find a greater sense of self and purpose, gratitude for life and loved ones, and an increased desire to act for the greater good. How can we create positive change for the greater good of our communities? How can we inspire action amidst complacency? 

Every step you take is an act of optimism. You are moving forward in the belief that a better outcome is possible. What’s the best that could happen? How can we help make it true? 

Remember, though, you are not responsible for fixing everything. And being positive and optimistic doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It just means you acknowledge the possibility of better days ahead. Sometimes the best that can happen is that you agree tomorrow is a new day, with potential for positive change.

New life arises from an old way of being. Hope is courage, and action is bravery, especially in a time of transformation. Keep believing in possibilities. Together, we can make this future better for our daughters, our neighbors, our grandkids, ourselves. Let’s do this, friends. 

XOXO – Aryn

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’”

Eleanor Roosevelt

8 Ways to Find Courage in Challenging Times

Feel your fears, and take action anyway.

1. Positive Self-Talk

– Give yourself the “best friend pep talk”

– Journal about your fears and hopes

– Make a habit of saying Affirmations or Acceptance Statements

2. Do a Power Pose

Place your hands on your hips or out in the air like a starfish. Set your legs shoulder width apart, lift your chest, and hold your head up high. Hold this position for two minutes while taking deep breaths. Research shows that this dominant upright position increases self-confidence. Testosterone increases (allowing for assertive behavior) while cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases. 

A la Rebecca from Ted Lasso, make yourself bigger to feel braver.

3. Find support, inspiration, or a mentor

– Model the bravery of someone you admire

– Read authors who inspire you to action

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Embrace Failure

Doing something you fear could very likely result in failure. Keep at it. The more you fail, the more you’re trying, the more likely you’ll succeed (and face that fear for good).

Take care of yourself, too.

5. Maintain a Top Priority List

What are the top five – or even three – most important things in your life right now? Keep this at the top of your mind… and see if you can let some other things go.

6. Do a brain cleanse:

– Get some fresh air

– Write out what you’re grateful for

– Consult your priority list. Take one action step to support that list

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”

Nelson Mandela 

7. Seek Happiness in the Day-to-Day

– Take a self-care time-out

– Find a healthy outlet (Exercise, book group, volunteering, focusing on personal health goals)

– Engage in something that makes you laugh

8. Be a Helper

Focus on how you can help in your own community, neighborhood, family. School district. Look around for folks that might need your help. Ask for help when you need it.

Want to take it a step further?
Check out our Mental Health piece on Facing Fears.