Aryn Henning Nichols

When the world feels full of darkness – both literally and figuratively – it’s easy to want to run away from it all. To cut yourself off and hunker down for the duration.

But the magic of life lives in the connections you make.

Connection can fit into a lot of different categories. Connection with yourself. Connection with another person – your partner, your kid, your parent, your neighbor. Connection with a group – a book club, folks in your neighborhood, your extended family. Connection with nature. Connection with your pets. Connection with your work.

It’s up to you to find the connections that best serve you. And sometimes you’ve really gotta push yourself out that door to make it happen. It can be hard! Trust me, I get it.

I’ve learned in recent years that I’m what’s called an “ambivert” – I have tendencies of both extroverts (hello, cheerleading background and putting myself out there each quarter in this very magazine) and introverts (Read all the books! Watch movies on the couch! Putter around the house!). 

I feel most closely aligned with introverts, to be honest. Sure, I’m good in a crowd and can talk to pretty much anyone, but I love a quiet house and hours to myself. But there is always a tipping point, when alone time wavers over into loneliness, and I recognize that I need contact and connection to feel whole and grounded and part of this planet.

When I was thinking about the themes for this entire year, including this winter issue, it was early 2024. A whole calendar stretched ahead, full of promise and possibility. Now, here we are, at the end of that year. What have you learned about yourself and others? What types of connections do you need? What sorts of possibilities are ahead for you in 2025? 

(Hint: Read our 8 Tips for Finding Connection below, then hop over Inspire(d) Mental Health writer Olivia Lynn Schnur’s piece about connection to get some more ideas.)

Every day is an opportunity to learn more, change perspectives, do something different. Every day is an experiment in humanity. And we’re all connected through that humanity. We’re all in this together. So: My hope, this winter season, is that we all find the collective strength to work toward a better future.

Happy New Year, dear readers. You inspire me.

XOXO,
-Aryn

8 Tips for Finding Connection

1. Assume positive intent

When you approach people with suspicion, you’re likely to find suspicious behavior. When you approach them with honesty and openness, it’s often reflected back

2. Put in the effort

Anything worthwhile is going to take some doing / planning / willingness to put yourself out there. Looking for a place to start? Do activities you enjoy…in public. Odds are you’ll find a like-minded individual you might hang out with in the future. 

Want to push yourself? Try learning something new – and meet others doing the same thing!

3. Skip the small talk

People are generally sick of it. Don’t be afraid to dive into questions you actually care about – if the people you’re asking care about them too, you’re more likely to find connection

4. Put down your phone
(Wonder how many times we’ve put this phrase in an infographic?)

We can’t say this often enough. If you’ve got someone across the table / in the room / present with you, you should be present with them. Put your device away and do real life conversation. Listen. Be heard. Repeat & enjoy!

5. Extend and accept invitations

Show appreciation for new connections.

6. Be yourself!

It can be awkward and make you feel vulnerable, but you’re looking to find people who connect with you – so you gotta be your own genuine, authentic brand of you!

P.S. Understand you’re not always for everyone – and that’s okay!

7.  Be aware of your social stamina

Not everyone gets energy from being around others. Don’t be hard on yourself if you need some time to recharge your extrovert battery for the next outing.

8. Connect with yourself.

Try these ideas:
Journaling
Counseling Sessions
Meditation
Taking walk in nature
Making a vision board

Check out our Mental Health section to explore even more prompts that help you look within.

My grandma, Martha Grace (Andrews) Deines, exudes love, happiness, and safety. I’m lucky to call her a close confidant and dear friend. In her life so far, she’s been a pastor’s wife; a mother of six (the six D’s – David, Dana, Dawn, Diedre, Darla, and Danette); and the best grandmother to 12 and great-grandmother to an ever-growing number! Martha’s greatest point of pride is the love and care she has for her family and close family friends! Martha – who just turned 90 years young in April 2024 – is quiet, calm, and positive. She’s a woman of few words, but always straightforward answers. She is easy-going and goes with the flow.

She can often be found in her home in Greene, Iowa, knitting a blanket for a loved-one, working on a puzzle, or watching a sporting event. Beyond this reserved exterior, she is one of the most resilient, strong, and selfless humans. Martha will be the first to tell you how much she loves you and how proud she is of you. Her bright, genuine smile and laughter lights up a room. Maya Angelou’s words come to mind, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” And my grandma makes the people around her feel loved – she is always their biggest cheerleader. Her energy is, quite simply, soothing for the soul. Sometimes it is hard to hear over our busy lives and the distracting world around us, but when friends and family who know Martha get the time to connect and pay attention, they feel truly seen and held within her deep love and genuine uplifting words.

Try to describe yourself in one sentence: Happy, married, mother… proud of my family! Content.

Best advice you have received:  Well, probably just, “play it cool” and don’t go to bed angry.

What did you want to be when you grew up?  I wanted to be a teacher, and I was! I was an elementary school teacher for a handful of years. I also helped my husband, John (who was a pastor at UNI) as his secretary. We made a good team, and it was nice for him to not have to worry about those types of things. I have very fond memories of our time at the UNI Lutheran Student Center. I continue to have good connections with people from that time and place that are very important in my life! (Martha still has season tickets to UNI Volleyball and attends nearly every home game!)

Do you remember your first job? I worked at the park in the summer – entertaining and teaching kids. I have always liked being around children, with my job as a teacher and stay-at-home mother of six!

Is there something you’ve done that you are proud of? 

Leading the band as the drum major in high school!

If you could eat anything every day for the rest of your life, what would it be? Ice cream! Preferably, butter pecan! (Shortly after she answered this question, someone knocked on the door to remind her about an ice cream social happening that afternoon! I believe she manifested it ~ magical Martha!)

If you were stranded on an island, what would you bring? Water… and ice cream! And my knitting to stay entertained.

How did you meet Grandpa? We met at a carnival that was in town when we were teenagers! We both grew up in Greene, IA, but we were in different grades and attended different churches, so we didn’t really know each other until then.

What was one of the best decisions you’ve ever made? Marrying John… the kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and all of the joy our life together brought! He left too soon.

Do you remember your wedding day? The weather was so beautiful that day. It was at St. Peter Lutheran Church where John’s father was the pastor. It is the church I attend now, after living in a lot of different places for John’s church callings as a pastor himself… Feels very good, very full circle, to have ended up back in Greene.

Do you have any advice for love or relationships? Be comfortable with each other and be honest at all costs.

What do you hope for the future of your family? Happiness! Good health! Do creative things and surround yourself with people you enjoy.

In 1940, as Walt Disney’s Pinocchio wobbled across the big screen, a lesser-known creative genius gave rise to another cinematic icon. Woody Woodpecker, an irascible bird with a spiky red doo, impish grin, and signature laugh, leaped off cartoonist Walter Lance’s drawing table and into movie theaters. Modeled after North America’s Pileated Woodpecker, Woody’s celebrity eventually landed him on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, indelibly popularizing woodpeckers in modern culture.

True to its name, a woodpecker’s life is about pecking. All share anatomical features that make them uniquely “woodpecker.” Special musculature in and around their heads holds their brain in place while they furiously peck away – no need for aspirin. Stiff tail feathers prop them vertically against trees to enable the business of pecking. Specialized feet with two toes pointed forward and two pointed backward, “zygodactyly” in the parlance of ornithologists, enable them to easily grip even the smoothest bark.

Winter is ideal for woodpecker viewing. Leafless trees offer unobstructed views of these forest-dwelling dynamos. Their inclination to make noise gives them away. As cold winter days slowly lengthen, woodpeckers begin to drum. Short, staccato bursts are a percussive proclamation of territory and a sure sign that spring is indeed on the way. Heavy, chisel-like bills facilitate excavation of wood to find insects and create nest holes. They’re so adept at woodwork, in Latin America woodpeckers are known as “pájaros carpinteros“ – bird carpenters. 

An industrious lot, woodpeckers excavate new nest holes every year. The previous year’s holes don’t remain unoccupied for long. Tree cavities are prime real estate. A host of species unable to excavate wood – chickadees, nuthatches, titmice, owls, and even Wood Ducks – depend on prodigious woodpeckers for a constant supply of much needed housing. That, in turn, is dependent on an abundance of dead trees, a critically important resource for healthy woodpecker populations.

Driftless forests support seven species of woodpeckers. The largest, the Pileated, is a crow-sized behemoth. It’s resonant “cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk” vocalization echoes throughout wooded coulees. Deep, rectangular excavations in tree trunks skirted with piles of woodchips are evidence of a bird more often heard than seen.

Our smallest woodpecker, the diminutive Downy, is dressed in snappy black and white. A mere six inches long, these tiny acrobats easily explore the underside of branches and are often seen perched on goldenrod stems searching for insects. The Downy Woodpecker is a frequent backyard visitor.

In terms of pure panache, the Red-headed Woodpecker gets top billing. An impossibly red head sits atop a boldly patterned back and white body propelled by equally striking wings. The mere glimpse of a flying “red head” elicits oohs and ahhhs. In a manner reminiscent of flycatchers, red heads frequently dart out from dead trees to snatch insects in mid-air, a behavior known as hawking. 

The Northern Flicker seems “less woodpecker” than its cousins. The large, jaunty bird sports crisp polka dots on a mocha-colored body. The only woodpecker to routinely forage on the ground, flickers have a propensity for ants. They’re often seen hopping like robins, opportunistically “excavating” anthills while searching for tasty ant larva. Flickers are snowbirds, heading to slightly warmer climes – Missouri and Arkansas – to spend the winter.

In the woodpecker world, the prize for fine dining goes to Yellow-bellied Sapsuckers. A smallish woodpecker bedecked in black and white, their scarlet forehead distinguishes them from similar looking species. 

As their name implies, sapsuckers have a proverbial sweet tooth. They drill rows of small holes known as sap wells into tree trunks to release sugary sap. Brushy tipped tongues enable them to efficiently lap it up. Clusters of sap wells attract a host of additional species, including hummingbirds, searching for a quick slurp… or the insects also attracted to sap. It just so happens sap wells can be life savers for hungry birds when early spring weather takes a turn for the worse. When you can’t find bugs, you can always rely on sap. That makes these feathered confectioners vitally important members of their woodland neighborhoods.

Most Driftless woodpeckers are steely enough to endure the Upper Midwest’s snowy climate. This winter,  when you’re itching for a change of pace, put on your boots and gloves and head out. A quiet foray into your local grove is sure to yield a glimpse of these fascinating woodland carpenters.   

Craig & Mary Thompson

Craig and Mary Thompson live north of La Crosse near an oak forest brimming with busy woodpeckers. Mary’s favorite is the flicker because “they’re the only bird cool enough to wear polka dots every day.” Craig has already made an April reservation at a local sap well.