Aryn Henning Nichols

Self-care for the season

As the seasons change, our moods change, too. This time of year can be full of joy and special memories, but it can also be a time where our mental and physical well-being suffers. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) brings on the “winter blues,” affecting millions of people across the world. We are experiencing shorter, colder days that keep us inside more, getting less fresh air and sunshine. Stress tends to be higher with the holidays, end-of-year deadlines, and New Year’s resolutions that can sometimes be more pressure than inspiration. 

How do we find the time and energy to create ongoing healthy habits? How do we shake off the stress and shame, and truly love ourselves in the midst of the ups and downs of life? How can we strive to fill our own cups, with the hope that we can overflow and share the care with our community and loved ones?

Even if you’re overwhelmed, stressed-out, and your battery is low – especially then – it is important to remember that You are Worthy. You are worthy of focusing on your needs. You are worthy of feeling joy. You are worthy of finding one moment, one hour, one day, or more in your busy life to devote to your health, happiness, and growth.

This season, we are encouraging you to remember your worthiness, and to take steps – even small ones – toward embracing the rest of your one wild and precious life!

If you have…ONE MOMENT:

Our days can be so busy, juggling so many different things, that we often feel like there simply isn’t any time at all to think about our mental, physical, or emotional care. Try to identify even the smallest moments that become available, and mindfully give yourself some care.

__ Drink some water

__ Moisturize your skin

__ Go outside for fresh air and sunshine

__ Take three deep breaths

__ Stretch or shake-it-out

__ Text a friend or family member

__ Think of one thing you’re grateful for

__ Hug someone you love for 20+ seconds

Research suggests this length of hug reduces stress and helps reset your nervous system. Solo at the moment? A pillow works too!

__ Challenge your negative thoughts by saying a positive affirmation 

        See current Inspire(d) paper project – featuring these illustrations! – for inspiration: 

        “I AM ______!”

If you have…ONE HOUR:

Do you know what time of day you are most productive or least productive? Perhaps plan for an hour of self-care around that schedule, when you know you will reach a slump and need a natural pick-me-up. Or devote an hour at the beginning or end of the day so it can become part of your regular routine.

__ Do a yoga flow and meditation

__ Go for a walk or do a workout

__ Make yourself a warm beverage

__ Journal or write a letter to a loved one (and mail it!)

__ Create a gratitude list 

       Have a dedicated journal so you can reference it often.

__ Take a nap or relax reading a book

__ Take a bath (add some bubbles or a bath bomb)

__ Take care of your houseplants

__ Make an easy herbal remedy, like the Elderberry Oxymel recipe below!

ELDERBERRY OXYMEL

• 1 cup of dried or fresh elderberries

• ½ to 1 cup of raw local honey

• ½ to 1 cup of raw apple cider vinegar

• Pint-sized (16-ounce) mason jar with lid

 Fill a clean glass jar roughly half full with elderberries. Pour honey and vinegar over elderberries (you can choose to have more honey, more vinegar, or equal parts of each — just make sure the elderberries are completely covered). Stir all together, shake often, and let sit for a few days (or weeks). Strain out the berries (compost or cook into a syrup) – save the liquid. Take spoonfuls of the elderberry oxymel to support your immune system!

*NOTE: Do not eat uncooked elderberries! 

Find more elderberry recipes at growforagecookferment.com/elderberry-recipes/

If you have…ONE DAY:

Planning a day for self-care takes a little more…planning! This year, try putting one full day on the calendar – monthly, quarterly, or even annually – and follow through on YOU. Choose the date and block off any other events or responsibilities.

__ Have a “pamper day” 

Spa Day. Massage. Mani-Pedi. 

TREAT YOURSELF!

__ Have a “lazy day” 

Movie Marathon. Favorite Snacks. Naps.

RELAX!

__ Have a “play day” 

Do things that would bring your younger self JOY!

__ Make a vision board 

Find prompts from our Dream Board Project here.

__ Learn new skills and get creative 

Take a course online or in your community – check out the Driftless Folk School, Vesterheim Folk Art School, ArtHaus, and more!

TURNING MOMENTS INTO HABITS:

Once you’re finding time for self-care moments, hours, or days, try turning them into ongoing healthy habits! In this section, we’ve listed some mindful self-care ideas you could try to incorporate into your life regularly. But remember: The goal here isn’t to add another thing to stress about. Self-care looks different from one day to the next. Sometimes it is simply taking a deep breath when you’re feeling overwhelmed, calling a loved-one to catch up, or binging a TV show while eating your favorite snack. 

Celebrate the fact that you are taking the time, whether it’s a moment or more, to take care of yourself. You are worthy of nourishing your body, uplifting your soul, and being kind to your mind. Your future self will thank you! 

__ Get out of your house and spend time with friends and/or family

__ Learn to also embrace and appreciate your alone time

__ Unplug! Turn off your TV + cell phone 

     and have a screen-free evening!

__ Get a good night’s sleep

__ Spend time in nature

__ Move and stretch your body 

Try to find movement that brings you joy!

__ Meal plan and prep – choose nourishing and whole foods

__ Support your gut! Incorporate more fermented foods 

      (i.e. yogurt, sauerkraut, kefir, etc.) 

     See recipe below for Fermented Honey Garlic!

Fermented Honey Garlic

• 1 cup of peeled and slightly crushed garlic cloves

• 1 cup of raw local honey 

   (or more, enough to completely cover the garlic)

• Pint-sized (16-ounce) mason jar with lid 

Fill a clean glass jar with garlic and cover in honey. Store in a cool, dark place. Flip the jar often to keep garlic submerged (make sure you have a lid that doesn’t leak when upside down – place a plate underneath in case of any leaks). Leave the lid slightly loose when upright (so the fermentation bubbles can escape – they will start to form in a few days to a week). Let it sit and ferment for a few weeks… it will store for many months, or even a year or longer! Eat a spoonful of honey and/or garlic to help support your health and gut!

* NOTE: Never give honey to babies under 1 year old. Botulism is not a concern in this type of ferment due to the level of acidity in the honey. If you have any concerns, use a pH test strip (the honey should have a pH of less than 4.6) or add a splash of raw apple cider vinegar to the recipe to add even more acidity.*

More details online at growforagecookferment.com/fermented-honey-garlic/

__ Do a “weekly reset” – do some cleaning and get tedious tasks out of the way.

Try our Citrus Peel All-Purpose Cleaner recipe!

Citrus Peel All-Purpose Cleaner

1. Save the peels from your citrus fruit (oranges, lemons, limes, etc.)

2. Submerge peels completely in white vinegar (5% acidity) in a glass jar

3. Soak the citrus peels in vinegar in a jar in your fridge for 2 weeks

4. Strain out and compost the peels

5. In a spray bottle, mix equal parts water and your citrus vinegar

6. Use to clean any and all surfaces around your home

* NOTE: always use white vinegar with 5% acidity or less.*

See more citrus ideas at lindenfern.com/blog/saveyourcitrus

__ Practice mindfulness 

__ If your cup is full or overflowing, 

   share the love and care with others

__ Remember… 

Love Yourself – You are Worthy!

Believing in Yourself

Self-doubt is a frequent visitor of mine. Despite being most excellent at cheering others on, it can be hard to turn my megaphone around. 

The self-doubt comes in cycles, like so many things. But if I remember the tools I’ve attempted to gather over the past several years, I can generally pull myself out of the spiral. Going on a walk. Saying affirmations. Taking a shower. Making a list of my accomplishments. Making a gratitude list. These are the things I look to. 

I first read the phrase self-efficacy in 2021, as I was attempting to learn more about mental health – and also prioritize my own. Psychologists define the term as a person’s belief in their ability to accomplish specific tasks. Folks with low self-efficacy might not try as hard at a task because they don’t believe they’ll succeed, thus increasing the likelihood of failure. High self-efficacy can lead to more self-confidence, which in turn, can lead to higher self-esteem. And when you put it all together, it brings you to a place of recognizing your self-worth (Read Olivia Lynn Schnur’s mental health piece exploring this more). You are worthy.

Believing in yourself, acknowledging your strengths, and in general, not being so dang hard on yourself helps pave the path to a much happier life. And hey, you’re already on that path, cause you’re reading this article in Inspire(d) Magazine. Woohoo! Thank you for being part of this positive news movement this year (and longer!). Here’s to heading into 2024 believing in your abilities to create positive change in your communities. I am grateful for you! 

XOXO, Aryn

11 Steps to Believing in Yourself

1. Imagine the worst thing that could happen. Make a plan for how you’ll handle it. Then believe you can do it. (I mean, you already have a plan!)

2. Eat the Frog

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” – Mark Twain

• Complete the biggest task early in day

• Feel confidence

• Repeat daily

3. Recognize limiting beliefs, question their validity, and replace with affirmations.

4. Sit up / stand up straighter.

Good posture increases confidence. Really need a boost? Set a timer and do the superhero pose. Stand tall. Put your hands on your hips, shoulder back, chest out. Hold for two minutes. It might feel silly, but it works (at the very least, you’ve taken a moment to be mindful of your body).

5. Tell yourself what you would tell your friends.

6. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support you.

You are worthy.

7. The law of attraction: If you believe in positive outcomes, you’re more likely to get positive outcomes.

8. Kick your impostor syndrome in the shins!

Write a list of your strengths and accomplishments, and revisit it every time you feel that ol’ jerk impostor syndrome sneaking back in. Really can’t think of any? Ask a loved one to get it started.

9. Make incremental goals, then Celebrate the Victories, big and small

10. Do one thing beyond your normal in order to push yourself toward your goals a little more each day. Getting out of your comfort zone increases confidence.

11. Self doubt is normal. Fall back on your tools and remember: You are Worthy of being your own cheerleader.

You’ve got this.

We are all worthy. We are valuable exactly as we are in this moment.

But sometimes we have trouble seeing our self-worth; trouble believing in ourselves.

Worth is a tricky thing. When it comes to the worth of objects, it makes sense to question the value of something. We compare options in order to make the best choice. Yet, when we translate that logic to our own sense of worth, we can run into complicated emotions. 

Let’s put it into practice: Think about the phrase “I am worthy.” Notice all the thoughts, emotions, and images that arise. Take a moment to write them down; this is important information that we’ll come back to later.

Cultivating Self-Worth

Self-worth starts from the inside. The first step in believing in yourself and your inherent worthiness – regardless of your circumstances, effort, or outside factors – is learning how to separate your internal worth from the views of the external world. Using external factors as a self-worth barometer is, in and of itself, counterproductive.

When you believe in your worth, you can move confidently through the world without asking for permission. You tackle challenges with strength, meet setbacks with resilience, and allow your inner wisdom to guide your choices. 

However, acknowledging self-worth is not always a practice we are taught. This is especially true for people whose parents struggled with their own self-worth. 

Luckily, it is never too late to develop skills to help strengthen your internal sense of worthiness. As you work on building a more secure relationship with yourself, make sure to give yourself grace – creating new habits and perspectives is rarely easy. 

Believe in Yourself 

Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in themselves. People with high self-efficacy possess a combination of confidence in their abilities, determination to overcome barriers, and motivation to stay steadfast in the pursuit of their goals. 

Self-worth and self-efficacy are two separate things, but they can reinforce one another. For example, our sense of inherent worthiness can help us meet setbacks with resilience and determination. High self-worth can also give us the strength to leave situations and relationships that are no longer serving us. It is easier to believe in ourselves when we know our worth. 

Just like with self-worth, we can increase our self-efficacy with internal work. This includes developing a growth mindset – or the belief that you are capable of change. Your struggles do not define you. Just because you have not achieved greatness yet does not mean you never will. The key word is yet. Instead of saying, “I cannot do this,” try saying, “I cannot do this, yet.” 

It can be easy to become overwhelmed when we look at the space between where we are and where we want to be. It is important to remember that our worth is not attached to our success. Instead, we can rely on our inherent sense of worth to propel us toward reaching our goals, one step at a time.  

You are Worthy of Care 

Self-care has been a buzz phrase in the mental health space for years. Rightfully so, but it’s important to understand the totality of what it means to care for yourself. 

Holistic self-care starts with a foundation of six basic dimensions: physical, spiritual, financial, mental, emotional, and social. Many of us have an area of self-care where we thrive and one that we often neglect. Self-care is not about perfection.

You can begin to practice self-care by mentally checking in with yourself each day, or several times per day. You can start with a question, “How am I doing (physically, spiritually, financially, mentally, emotionally, socially)?”

Be careful not to judge whatever answer arises. Instead, develop a plan. If you’re feeling mentally drained set limits (when possible) to reduce your mental load. If you’re feeling physically tired it’s ok to skip a workout, take a nap, or simply relax. Maybe you notice you’re feeling lonely and in need of a social connection. Or perhaps your social battery is tapped, and you could use a night in. 

Whenever possible, work to honor and meet your own needs. This practice is like strengthening a muscle. It takes patience and repetition, but if you keep at it, you will notice results. 

It is ok (and even necessary) to care for yourself. You are worthy of care. 

You are Worthy of Forgiveness 

When we love and accept ourselves it becomes much easier to forgive – others and ourselves. When we operate from a place of high self-worth, we don’t expect perfection. You will fail at things, get rejected, and make mistakes. That is part of being human. 

Self-forgiveness means acknowledging that in order to fail, we must first try. Regardless of the outcome, our efforts are worthwhile. Our worth is not dependent on success.

People with a high degree of self-efficacy look at failure as an opportunity to reflect or redirect. They might view rejection as a sign it’s time to try a different approach. As you practice increasing your own self-efficacy, try to view failures with forgiveness. 

In Hawaiian culture, there is a prayer called Ho’oponopono, which means “to make things right.” It is both a practice of reconciling with others as well as self-forgiveness. You practice it by repeating this mantra, “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I thank you. I love you.” 

As you start to practice self-forgiveness, you might imagine directing those words toward yourself. Notice what emotions arise without judgement. You are worthy of forgiveness.  

Affirm Your Worth 

Our thoughts are powerful. It’s important to watch what is happening inside of our minds. If you’ve struggled with low self-worth for many years, your thoughts about yourself are likely negative.

Thought patterns can feel like an automatic, unconscious process. However, we are capable of controlling, redirecting, and even changing the way we think, but it takes practice. 

If you want to shift your thinking, you have to notice your patterns first. Think back to the start of this article. What thoughts, emotions, and images related to your internal worth arose? This is where you will need to begin.

Practice shifting your thoughts whenever you catch a negative thought. Replace that negative thought with a positive (often just the opposite). Repeat as often as necessary. 

You might develop affirmations that help to strengthen your self-worth. These can include statements or written reminders such as, “I am worthy of love,” “I am capable of caring for myself,” or “I am good enough as I am.” 

At the same time, you can develop positive self-beliefs that strengthen your ability to achieve your goals. Some examples might be, “My failures do not define me,” “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I am worthy of success.” 

The mind does not know the difference between thoughts and reality. Replacing negative or limiting beliefs with positive affirmations can be a powerful practice. 

Honor your Worth

While self-worth is an inside job, outside forces can certainly influence our feelings of worthiness. It’s important to recognize that there are jobs, relationships, and circumstances that challenge our sense of self-worth.  

No self-worth practice is strong enough to withstand repeated encounters with people or places that make us feel small, insignificant, or worthless. In these circumstances, an external change is often required before internal changes can stick. 

In some circumstances, boundaries and assertive communication can help. In others, drastic changes may be needed. These scenarios may require the help of a professional, such as a therapist. 

Take a mental inventory of the people in your life who contribute to your sense of worthiness. Who do you turn to when you start to question your worth? Where do you go when you want to feel confident or secure? 

It is important to surround yourself with people that recognize and cherish your worth. These are the people who reinforce your worth when you face self-doubt. You are so worthy of these kinds of relationships.