Aryn Henning Nichols

It’s back to school time, and, as an adult, I find that brings up a mix of emotions.

I am a little sad to see the summer go – long days, warm sunshine, more time with my family. But I love the sound of the marching band practicing in the distance, the smell of new school notebooks, and the anticipation of a new beginning. 

Okay, so honestly, despite what I may have said on the occasional morning in junior high, I’ve always loved school. Or perhaps it’s better said that I’ve always loved learning.

I know we don’t all feel this way, but I do think that all learning comes from a place of curiosity, and that we ARE all curious, in some way or another.

Tapping into that curiosity is what pushes us to be lifelong learners. And constantly learning – bettering ourselves and being open to what others can teach us or what we can learn about ourselves – this can open up the whole world. 

Psychologists – across the field and over many decades – have compiled research on the many benefits of curiosity. It enhances intelligence, boosts mental and physical energy, and gives us a deeper engagement in life.

The key is being willing to search out what interests you, what you want to learn more about. For me, right now, it’s power tools. I want to learn how to use them all, and then I want to learn how to build stuff. Fingers crossed that this fall is when I get to make my attempt – if I do, you can watch me fail or succeed here online, because you can bet your booty I’m going to let you follow along on my learning adventure, ha!

That’s the thing: Lifelong learning doesn’t have to be like “school”. It can be structured however you want it to be – you are in charge of the situation. Let the world be your classroom and your curiosity your driver (a little power tool pun). 

Class is in session! 

There is no such thing as a finished product when it comes to living. Our lives are constantly evolving and with each new experience or accomplishment, we learn, grow, and change. 

But each time we accomplish something we are on to the next step. This can leave us feeling exhausted and discontent, living with the impossible goal of becoming a perfect version of ourselves. 

What if we shifted that thinking and focused on the process instead of the outcome? What if our goal was simply to live and learn? 

When it comes to learning there is no such thing as failure. It is an eternal process that can lead to deeper self-exploration, personal growth, and self-fulfillment.  

Ways We Learn 

Social psychology is the study of how humans develop in the context of others. This includes social learning and the internalization of cultural norms. 

To generalize, there are two ways we learn:

Extrinsic means something that exists outside. In this context, extrinsic learning comes from outside of ourselves. This can include learning from others or social learning.  

Intrinsic refers to something that naturally belongs. In the context of learning, this refers to learning that comes from within. It might include self-awareness, instinct, or patterns developed through the process of trial and error. Think of this as learning that belongs to the self. 

In early childhood, learning is primarily extrinsic and happens in the home. Children are sponges, absorbing good information… as well as bad. “Do as I say, not as I do” rarely works. As children, we are eager to mimic caregivers and family members. As we reach adolescence, we start to model the behavior, language, and style of our peers and popular culture. 

Social learning often shifts as we enter adulthood. We continue to look outside of ourselves and integrate new ideas, but we may also find ourselves looking within for answers. Our learning becomes more intrinsic, self-motivated, and often self-guided. 

Of course, we will learn a great deal in our work and home environments. But that learning is guided by the choices we make in careers, partnerships, and even community involvement. We often gravitate to the environments that feel most comfortable. 

But what happens when that comfort-zone starts to feel a little too small? Many people who have decided to change careers or go back to school later in life are familiar with this discomfort. It can be extremely difficult to shift out of engrained patterns of behavior, even when they no longer align with our values and aspirations. 

How to Un-learn Patterns that Keep us Stuck

Letting Go of the Past

Sometimes we keep ourselves stuck. We may internalize a false belief such as, “This is the way I have always done things so this is the way it will always be.” 

The past does not predict the future. There is no timeline on learning and there is no limit to our potential. Even deep-seated ideas can shift once we learn something new. 

As Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” 

Groupthink 

One of the biggest pitfalls that can keep us stuck is a term called “groupthink.” 

Dangers of group think: When people get together in groups they tend to go with the crowd. Crowds tend to favor extremes because groups lessen feelings of personal responsibility. 

We are extrinsically motivated in groupthink. We essentially lose the ability to think for ourselves. We simply go with the popular opinion. This can happen in any environment: work, school, friend groups, family systems, and societally. When you find yourself in these situations, ask, “Does this really align with my values?”

It can be a fulfilling process to let go of the expectations of others and begin to explore our own values. It’s also worth noting that not all habits we get from others are bad. At any time, we can make the decision to observe and unlearn the habits that don’t serve us and explore the ones that might. 

Moving Forward with Self-Awareness

To recognize habits that don’t serve us we can practice self-awareness and tap into our thoughts and feelings. 

This can be a challenging task. Many people find it difficult to engage in “meta-cognition,” or thinking about thinking. But it is a skill that can be learned.

The trick is learning to mindfully observe our thoughts without judgment. Allow thoughts to come and go without assigning them meaning. The goal is to come back to the present moment as often as necessary.

If we observe our thinking long enough, we will notice patterns start to emerge. We may repeat the same worries, problems, or memories in our heads. Some of us may even attempt to predict the future or start to believe thoughts that distort reality. 

Once we identify any unhelpful thought patterns, we can start to change them.

 

Finding the Motivation to Start

Learning = growing, but finding the motivation to learn and grow can feel elusive when we are set in our ways. If we routinely find ourselves trudging through our workday, we might not understand how others find the energy and time to pursue hobbies or goals.

Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for creating motivation. Generally, we become motivated by doing. Starting somewhere – anywhere – is the biggest key. 

Tricking the Brain with Rewards

If we want a dog to learn a new trick, we reward them for doing the trick. We might even reward them for taking steps towards the trick. Over time, the dog knows if they want the bone they need to roll over. 

Our brains are designed the same way: we need to do the trick to get the treat. 

If we want exercise to feel good, we need to exercise regularly. Initially, we might not feel that reward, but it will come. Eventually, our bodies will be filled with chemicals – like dopamine – that make us feel happy (and release stress) when we exercise. Over time, we might reach a point where we actually look forward to our workout. 

The same can be said for any habit or skill we want to develop. 

Anything new will likely feel challenging at first. Yet – if we remain committed – the reward system in our brain will release chemicals that make us feel good. Eventually, that feeling of accomplishment will hopefully encourage us to turn that new habit into routine. 

Starting Small 

When we first start the process of turning inward, we might notice several problematic patterns we would like to shift. But attempting to make too many changes at once can throw us off course. We need to remember to start small. 

So much of what we do is automatic or unconscious. Shifting habits or patterns is a process of remaining present and making the unconscious conscious. 

When we first get started, it can be helpful to journal or create lists. Writing can help to organize our thoughts. And when we read our thoughts on paper, they become more concrete. This can be a helpful method for developing self-awareness or tracking our progress. See the following worksheet for ideas to get started.

Ask for Help

Oftentimes, we need the help of others to track our progress, support us on our journey, or gauge if the changes we are making are effective. Sometimes, that person might be a therapist. Other times, that person might be a loved one. It can be difficult to notice our unconscious patterns or habits and feedback from others can give us a nudge in the right direction.

In the process of lifelong learning, we will make the most meaningful and fulfilling progress when we learn to balance intrinsic and extrinsic learning. A life guided by self-awareness along with authentic connections is truly the goal. 

There is no secret to success or lifelong happiness. However, a commitment to lifelong learning is a great start. The end goal is not what matters, but the process of discovery may just reveal a few of your own secrets for success and happiness along the way. 

Graduate, go to college, get a job.

This formula has often been considered the “norm” when entering life post-high school.

But the reality is there are many different learning paths a person can choose. Nick Chill, photographer, instructor, and Marketing/Publicity coordinator at Decorah Public Library, initially chose the path to a two-year tech school. Interested in becoming a web developer, he majored in Web Development and Design. 

“If I had any advice for someone debating their lifelong learning path, it would be to find a delicate balance between being open to new things but also being fully committed to new things until you know that it’s for you,” Nick says. “It is okay to say that a path is not right for you, but you won’t truly know that until you’ve given it a good try, experiencing the ups and downs. You never have to feel like you are stuck with one thing, but at the same time, don’t just quit every time something gets a little challenging.” 

For Nick, realizing the amount of time a web developer spends indoors was the moment he decided that path wasn’t for him. He changed course and joined the Navy to see the world. Nick was first stationed in San Diego as a “wire-chaser” electrician for the SH-60 Seahawk helicopter. He would follow a wire from one end to the other and determine any issues with the aircraft. He also earned his Bachelor’s degree in Professional Aeronautics during his time in the service. 

It was around this same time that Nick discovered photography. On a first-time visit to the Grand Canyon, he was overwhelmed by the scene. He wanted to share this beauty with the world, and upon returning home, he promptly bought his first camera. It was a new direction that would take him on many literal paths, enjoying the beauty of nature and the outdoors.

“I love the idea that I can share the view I’m seeing and the beautiful moment I’m experiencing,” Nick says. “Photography and my spiritual practice have been hand in hand. They both grow and support each other.”

Before 2007, Nick had a pessimistic view of life. But he spent a couple of weeks that year listening to an audiobook by spiritual teacher and self-help author Eckhart Tolle. One day, after listening, Nick got out of his car and felt something from within him just open up. “I literally felt weight lift off my shoulders and started uncontrollably laughing with tears in my eyes. I suddenly viewed life from a nearly opposite perspective from only minutes before. I was never the same person again,” he says. 

This experience gave Nick a new lens on the world; one he wanted to share through photography. Rather than allowing himself to be drawn in by negativity, Nick uses spirituality and photography to be intentional about a positive mindset.

“Photography helps to facilitate the mindset of looking for the beauty in the world around me,” he says. 

Nick’s hobby quickly grew into a talent. Three years after Nick left the Navy, he decided to focus solely on photography and moved to Washington. While living there, Nick earned his Bachelor’s degree in Photography. Even though he has explored a variety of styles, Nick’s dedication lies with nature photography, mainly for its serenity. He finds peace in the magical beauty of a barren field as the sun rises and deer prance in the distance. Nature provides spaces where Nick can be content.

“I approach my photographs from a feeling aspect rather than trying to overthink the composition and other technicalities,” Nick says. “Overthinking can creep in sometimes, but I love conveying how a scene or moment felt personally to other people.” 

Nick was living in Washington when he met Rachel, his now-wife and, at one point, his partner in wedding and portrait photography. The two began chatting on Facebook, and eventually, Nick decided to move from Washington to small-town Decorah, Iowa, where Rachel lived. He joined Green Iowa in Decorah, offering up his photography skills and handling a variety of other duties. During this time, Nick also established himself as a local photographer, focusing on wedding and portrait photography. He began teaching photography seasonally at Northeast Iowa Community College, showing students, ages ranging from 35 to 60, the basics of their camera. 

“My students are interested in getting into it as a hobby, or they bought a nice camera and want to use it to take better pictures of their kids and things like that,” he says. “Honestly, after I get home from a class, I feel like I have a buzz of energy. I get so uplifted by seeing the excitement on people’s faces when they realize the beautiful photos that they’ve captured… It’s inspiring.”

Nick currently works a full-time position as Marketing and Publicity coordinator at Decorah Public Library, specializing in photography and the library’s social media. And over the next few years, Nick and Rachel are determined to travel – with their two dogs, Charlie and Griffin – in their Airstream trailer across the country, experiencing nature’s beauty.

While Nick has been on an interesting journey, he would not change the past by any means. “I’m a firm believer that every choice I made brought me to where I am today,” says Nick, “Any changes on the path could be better, relatively speaking, but I’m glad I did everything the way I did. I’m very happy with where I am right now and who I am.”